Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The rundown

Bullet pointed list to explain my lack of posting:

  1. I rolled my ankle at the park 3 weeks ago. I have a freakishly high tolerance to pain (yeah, I'm the chick who dilated to 9cms without knowing it) so I went two weeks in what I consider "pain" and then tought it would be a good idea to have it checked out in case it is broken. Not broken, but the ligament is ripped off the bone, and will take another 7 weeks to heal, so I am in a brace, am supposed to stay off my feet, not drive too much, and not do any weight bearing (hello ankle, have you met my life...not going to happen).
  2. Miss L. keeps me on my feet (dear L., see drs. orders from above. Oh, you don't care, okay then). Not only does she speed crawl and stand up, but she has started walking while holding on, and recently discovered the ability to climb up the stairs. Also, she will eat anything so must be watched constantly...she even stuck her tongue in an electrical outlet. P-Daddy refers to this as "the infant stage of imminent danger".
  3. we've had alot of birthdays (C, X, and me) and we are planning a big birthday bash on the 12th. Now, I just have to find or make a dragon pinata, and come up with quests.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Things I never imagined saying....

X - "Mommy, can we have some carob chips?"
Me - "Sure"
S - "I'll get them; where are they?"
Me - "In the freeze, next to the placenta."

Pity my children, poor poor things. I think they will be scared for life from some of the wacko, hippy things I do. But, they are still eating the carob chips.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Blogging is hard:

1) with kids who like to eat and drink and pee and have needs that only you can meet;

2) while is hard to type one handed while defending the keyboard against marauding little hands;

3) when you want to be substantive but your brain pretty much works on one or two word sentences like "food good", "one moment", "not now", "must sleep".

4) when you wish you were witty or clever, or even a little bit interesting, but all you can muster up is anecdotes about kids and poop.

Now for the good news, I have the blogging bug back and will be true to my bloggie self and work on this blog as well as the others I have planned.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Mixing things up

My friend Dawn is one of the most creative (and giving) people I know. Sure, she is a little manic about changing the look of her blog all the time, but hey, she is a graphic designing wiz, so you have to cut her some slack :) Well, her shop is now a free shop wherein she makes the cutest blog designs and then gives them to the world for free. So, I have had this same blog design since I started and while I love it, I feel the need for some creative mixing things up, so I am going to start using Dawn's designs on this blog and rotating them. I am in the process of setting up a number of other blogs which I will use Dawn's designs for as well (or um, maybe beg her for some specific designs). Once they are up and ready I will post links.

P-Daddy is home from Hawaii and I have a pork roast in the oven (with a mustard rub and lots of garlic cloves in it), Chardonnay chilling in the fridge, Meritage breathing out on the counter (in case we can't decide between red or white), and garlic green beand waiting to be made.

Today is a good day.

Just for the specs: I am first going to try out "calming down" layout that Dawn posted today. Please check out her designs at Almost Ready Blogs.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hawaii....and stuff

P-Daddy has been in Hawaii for about a week now. Things are going better than expected here (which is to say we have all survived intact) but we are looking forward to him coming home on Sunday. Apparently, I will be going back there in 5 years to renew our vows (at the Turtle Bay resort on the North Shore), so yippeee, something to look forward to. The kids have all been feeling crappy and S has missed 3 days of school. I am forcing him to go today so that he can pick up his missed homework (yes, in Kindergarten).

The drybed creek at the park we go to for Homeschool Day was flooded this week and was up to about the kids knees. They all had a great time wading in the water, building a rock bridge with the older kids, and playing with their friends...that is until C tripped and fell into the water. Then, I had to strip them all down and head home. Thank goodness I didn't get pulled over, because three scantily clad children and a perfectly warm and cozy baby may have been tricky to explain. No pictures from the park as the camera is on vacation in paradise.

We have been looking after Otto Doggy while RR, AC, SRC, and LRC are also in Hawaii. We go over three times a day and spend an hour or so with him. Pretty much all he wants to do is cuddle on the couch (which is nice) and the kids are having fun. Granted, I am obsessively vacuuming their house everyday because they have a Dyson and I miss my Dyson so it is like vacuum therapy.

Time to go see if S still has a fever or if I can force him to go to school.

Shout out to Penn State!!! Hi Ellen!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Is this weird?

Is it weird that I haven't been blogging because I have been planning other blogs? Is that kind of like cheating on my blog? I will detail those more later. I am sneaking a few seconds on the Internet without someone demading I feed them or get off the computer so they can play (damn you P-Daddy for showing them how to play educational computer games). Okay, honestly I am just suffering from some pretty severe exhaustion. Miss L has decided that she can not possibly go more than 45 mins between nursings so my night goes something like this:

7pm - insert breast in baby's mouth. Leave it there until 9pm when I try to lay her down.
9:15pm - stick boob back in.
9:30pm - lay her back down and desperately hope she sleeps
10:15pm - feel her crawl back onto me and demand just a little nightcap.
repeat until 4:45am when alarm goes off, I give up, go downstairs and start my day.

We have also been having some pretty serious discussions about pulling S out of school, and have come to the conclusion that X will be homeschooled because there is no way, with his personality, that he would last in a class setting. Now he wants a uniform with a purple shirt and blue or khaki pants.

Mostly, I have been doing research and planning for a low-carb diet for X and me. After reading Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution (on the recommendation of my friend, April) I have to finally suck it up and treat my combo of hypoglycemia and insulin resistance. Also, I can fuck with my body as much as I want, but I have no right to screw X up. So, I will treat his hypoglycemia until he is out on his own, and makes his own decisions. My endocrinologist wanted me to do the 1st phase of South Beach to reset my pancreas, but I think I will do my own combo of Dr. B, South Beach, and things from Nourishing Traditions and Body Ecology.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Busy, busy, busy

We have been crazy busy trying to adjust to this school thing, partying with all of our friends (many, many of whom have recently had or will soon have B-Day parties), and trying to establish a working schedule for those of us left at home.

L is desperately trying to crawl and gets really frustrated when she can't, so she has been super attached recently.

I signed up to market wines for a winery in Napa. I have my own business called Time Out Wine and do in-home wine tastings for least I will once I get everything started. I will have a blog for that too.

Honestly, I have just been really uninspired to write anything. It rained several days last week and everything seems fresh and new, so I will try to write again.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

P-Daddy B-Day

Today is P-Daddy's B-day. He took the day off work so we could go and do something fun, but then we all remembered that S goes to school now and it would be unfair to do something as a family without him. So we are at home watching movies. S and I will go to pick up the needed items to make him the Apple Pie he requested in lieu of cake after school.

Here is a cute little video of L dancing with P-Daddy. The sound is messed up so you may want to mute your volume.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Yum - Fermented Foods

I LOVE fermented foods (yoghurt, buttermilk, kefir, kombucha, kimchi, sauerkraut, etc.) and have seriously been considering refining our diets (especially mine, Spencer's and Xavier's) based on the Body Ecology Diet.

Cultures for Health is having a great giveaway right now for free starters. I am psyched about entering. Go to Kelly the Kitchen Kop for details.

I already make our own yoghurt, cottage cheese, bread and most baked goods, so I am not worried about all the fermenting required by the diet. More later when I finally decide what I am doing.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

My love of clogs

So, as a child of the '70s I have an abiding love of clogs. In fact, when I became a very strict vegetarian, my leather clogs were the one thing I refused to throw/give away. They were finally done in by R-dog when he was a puppy, yet I continued to hold on to them for sentimental reasons. I also love high heels, but cannot wear them safely - I am hypermobile which means my joints pop in and out of place really easily, so walking in heels generally means 1)take a step, 2)have ankle pop out , 3)shift weight to pop ankle back in, 4)step with other foot and repeat. I eaither have to wear high heel boot with thick heels or if I am lucky something with a strap.

I was reading Angry Chicken this morning and she had a post about a dress and clogs. I followed the link to Swedish Hasbeens and I AM IN LOVE. I want one of everything in every not going to happen as they price out at about $170USD each. Oh, to dream the impossible dream. I particularly love these:

Now all I need is stylish clothes and my old smokin' hot body back to go with the shoes. Actually I like these ones too,and I think they would be super cute with this dress from A Green Banana at Etsy, but I don't yet have enough body confidence back to wear something like this.

Well, this is the kind of post you get when I've had 2hrs of sleep because L nursed from 8:30pm to 2:30am, slept for about 2hrs, nursed until 7:30am, took an hour nap and has had to be nursed or held since then....yes, I'm blogging one handed. No, she won't take a pacifier nor a bottle.

I think I might need to watch my language....

I was playing around with the girls the other day and teasingly called them fussy britches, when all of a sudden I hear S yell from the other room "don't call my sisters fucking bitches!" Yeah, this tells me I swear a wee bit too much.

note - I have never, ever called my daughters fucking bitches...I reserve that for crazy ass women drivers who cut me off while I'm barreling down the 1604 at 70mph (app.110kmph).

Monday, August 3, 2009

Menu Monday

L is being amused by S - she is sitting in her Bumbo, which is in an empty laundry basket and he is pushing her around - so I have a minute to post.

Monday - bean and cheese wraps
Tuesday - curried green peas and potatoes over rice
Wednesday - veggie tomato soup
Thursday - sweet mango mahi mahi (for P, X, and C) and mango tofu (for me and S) over couscous
Friday - pirogies with tomato sauce and veggies
Saturday - tacos
Sunday - pulled pork fajitas

I have a crazy, busy week coming up so not sure how much I will be able to post.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Bad, blogger! Bad, Bad, Blogger!

Sorry, I have been MIA. I have been doing alot of research on the business (or businesses) I am thinking of starting. Add to that a major L growth spurt and I have essentially been either engrossed in research or tied to a nursing baby.

One thing this week - had my second ever panic attack. The first one was at Kinder roundup at the local public elementary, and the second was in Walmart on Sunday, Kindergarten supply list in hand, battling it out with the other moms for the last 6-pack of glue sticks. I have issues, major major issues. And, damn, why do I have to spend so much money supplying a class that my tax dollars are supposed to cover - a sack of paper plates; seriously? Two rolls of paper towels; really? Construction paper for everyone to share; come on!!!!

Eventhough we have decided to let S attend the Science Academy he was accepted into, he has asked to also be homeschooled, so we will be doing afterschooling on the subjects he either won't get or won't get in depth, as well as extra practice in subjects he does get. X is very upset that S is going without him, so I will be doing much more homeschooling with him than I had previously planned. Most pre-K and K but very light heartedly because he is like me - if he doesn't think get something perfect the first time he freezes and doesn't want to try (sorry sweatheart, my paralyzing perfectionism and self-doubt were not traits I wanted to pass on to anyone). I will post our new schedule once I figure it out.

L needs me again, so gotta go. And, as I said on my Facebook account, I am saddened by the fact that there is absolutely no sexual connotation to the thought of having my boobs in someone's mouth all night. One day they will be purely decorative again, but for now their true function is answering the call of the distress call of the hungry boobie bird.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

L's 5-month stats

So, I finally took L to a doctor to get her vaccinations. She has been extremely healthy and I didn't want to take her to a doctor during the swine flu scare, and then, well, I just haven't done it. So, the kids and I packed up, drove to the docs and she got a check up. She is wonderfully healthy, and had a great time until the shots - at which point she looked at me with the most betrayed look I have ever seen. We came home and she slept for 4 hours, but when she woke up she forgave me.

Her stats:

Height - somewhere between 27 and 28 inches. She kept moving her leg and so we took the only measurement we could get accurately (which was 27inches) but the nurse thinks she may be taller. SO, that is somewhere between the 97th and 100th percentile.

Weight - she weighs about 15lbs 8ozs. That puts her somewhere around the 60th percentile.

So, based on those two measurements, looks like she will have X's body type - tall and thin. S and C are very proportional in height/weight - his height and weight have always been the same percentile and C is always about the same with weight being higher than height.

Her head is 16inches, which puts her in the 20th percentile - I find this funny because the boys always had big heads (with percentiles higher than weight or height). Guess we'll just see how big her head gets.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Sorry for the absence

Yikes, it has been a long time, eh? The last two weeks have been crazy.

On Saturday the 11th, X went to his first Batizado for capoeira and received his first ranking cord. It was incredible to watch the advanced students and Mestres play, and I was thrilled that X was able to participate. We were also happy for our friends JR and KR who also got cords. P-Daddy wants to take capoeira up so he can do handstands and bounce up and down on one hand.

Sunday was S's birthday and we had a Star Wars-themed party for him with homemade lightsabers (note to self: arming masses of children with weapons results in absurd amounts of chaos), lightsaber decorated cake and tons of fun.

On Tuesday, baby Martyn was born to our friends Jac and Joanna. Can't wait to see him! Then on Friday, baby Charlotte (Charlie) was born to our friends Kris and Brandon. Welcome to both of them. On the same day an old friend of mine (Max from CEGEP) became an uncle for the first time to little Laila (another L name).

Charlotte Young

Also, we found out that S got accepted into Harmony Science Academy - a magnet school in our district that has very strict academics and a concentration on science, math and reading. I was very conflicted because I was looking forward to homeschooling him, but he asked to try it out. He also said that he still wants to be homeschooled and do all the fun things we planned, so our educational journey has gone from homeschooling to afterschooling. I will probably concentrate on things he won't get in school (or only a little of) like history, geography, languages in the earlu grades like Latin and Greek, art and music history, and then just extra practice in literature, math, science, vocabulary, spelling and handwriting.

Thursday, I threw a Tutu party. A bunch of us moms got together and made tutus. It was a hoot and the little ladies got some pretty tutus.

Then Saturday, S and P-Daddy went out for S's birthday treat - lunch, movie and toy shopping. I have been spending my time coming up with business proposal for what I want to do once my stupid cheque from the moving company gets here (anyone else think 5 weeks is a little much to wait for a cheque?)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Homeschool Tuesday - learning when you are sick

Spencer and Xavier have been working their way through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, but they are finding the early lessons too easy and we are going through several in one sitting. However we have been struck down with a fever that is going around so formal lessons have stopped until the kids are all well. While they are not up to par, they are watching the

Leap Frog DVDs (which I cannot recommend highly enough) in place of reading lessons,

Zaboomafoo for nature study and

Magic School Bus DVDs for science.

Menu Monday

Sorry this is late - we lost Internet, cable and phone last evening for about 4hrs - I think due to the "storm".

Monday - Israeli Couscous with Pesto, almonds, onions and honey goat cheese.
Tuesday - Roasted Veggies with Italian seasoned Barley (I found a bunch of great squashes and peppers at a roadside veggie stand)
Wednesday - Split Pea soup with homemade bread
Thursday - Mexican-inspired Lasagna
Friday - Quinoa, Avocado, cranberry wraps
Saturday - Tacos (veggie crumbles, guacamole, tomatoes, onions, salsa, cheese, sour cream)
Sunday - Spencer's B-Day with a party during the day so if we want to eat dinner after the party is over I will have veggie hotdogs and regular hotdogs - I'm guessing we won't actually be eating dinner.

As you can see there are two carry over meals from last week.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Menu Monday

Here is this week's dinners:

Mon - Kielbasa sausage with peppers, onions and potatoes (we usually only eat meat on Sunday, but got take out last night)
Tues - Italian lentils over rice
Weds - Canada Day Potluck (I think I am bringing cheesey broccoli potatoes)
Thur - Split Pea Soup
Fri - Spaghetti with black olive and caper sauce and goat cheese
Sat - Mexican Lasagna
Sun - Latin Chicken and rice

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Wacky Wednesdays

I have hesitated mentioning this before, but I was hired on to write for the San Antonio Examiner on topics relating to Attachment Parenting. It is an online magazine/newspaper tagged lined as the "insider source for everything local." Almost all cities have their own edition. I am waiting to have my first article, "Intimacy and the attached parent" approved for publication. I get paid per page view ($10 for every 1000 hits) so it is not a big money maker, more like a forum for me to link people to attachment parenting, and things happening in SA. I am pretty excited.

I am also in the planning stages of creating my own business and also doing some planning to market things on the side (more on these when and if they actually happen). I am still developing my informational blog called "Big Family, Small Budget" - does what it says - talk about living with a big family on a small budget.

We got a box of girl clothes from a friend yesterday. It has sizes from 0 months to 6years. I barely got it through the door before the kids ransacked it. I have tried to organize it 5 times, but C keeps trying on all the clothes and the box has been made into a car/rocket ship by the boys. L is a little ambivalent about the whole thing. Needless to say, the family room is covered with cardboard and clothes. I am just going to be zen about it and let my frustration fade away until I catch up with all the other stuff I have to do.

I need to figure out what to do about our bed. The movers mangled our mattress during the move-from-hell and broke the headboard and mattress frame, so our bed has a horizontal fold down the middle and a vertical dip because the bed in sagging due to lack of support from the broken frame. We are all waking up grumpy and in pain. Either we have to ditch the frame and headboard and just put the mattress on the floor or we have to fix the frame; neither option is particularly appealing at this time.

I have been trying to cut down on our consumption of sugar and sugary products (not that we ever ate many) in the first stage of revamping our diet to be more in line with X's and my hypoglycemia. I'll just put this out there: I would sell an ovary for some brown sugar or maple syrup to put on my porridge right about now. I WANT MAPLE SYRUP!!! THE REAL KIND NOT THIS FAKE SHIT!!! Oh my kingdom for a cabane a sucre and the heady days of sugaring off...maple syrup boiled down and poured over fresh snow so that it becomes viscous and taffyish, oreilles de crise, maple pie, ham and beans, split pea soup (check this out for a typical sugaring off feast - the site is in french, but if you can't read it, the pictures do the trick). Mouth stop watering.

The dishwasher is broken (won't drain properly) but after 3 days of trying to fix it I have given up and am just using it. The water never overflows it just doesn't drain totally, so I am trying to make my way through the mounds of dishes that piled up during my futile fixing days. I am also drowning under loads of laundry - all the linens that mildewed in the closet when the a/c unit backed up and leaked through to the linen closet, the sleeping bags and comforters from the indoor campout that had juice dropped all over them, and the regular laundry.

Wow, I need to start writing all these things down because my brain is not fully operational right now. So, here is my To Do List for Today"

- catch up on extra laundry
- publish first Examiner article
- do boys' laundry
- do thorough cleaning of boys' room and playroom (usually the boys room is on Tuesday and I do X's laundry on Tuesday and S's laundry on Wednesday, but I didn't manage it yesterday). Thorough cleaning involves stripping and remaking beds, thorough vacuuming, washing walls and baseboards, dusting blinds, putting everything away properly.
- work on blogs and blog design for new blogs
- figure out how to widen the main column in this blog because it is bugging me how narrow it is.
- detail out business plan
- finish homeschool budget and find best prices for books
- reading lesson with S and X (okay and C too because she wants to be included, but isn't really ready)
- do loan forbearance application for student loans
- make dinner
-organize clothes from friend

God that is depressing; I am stopping now.

Just a fun picture to get me through the day (thank god they're cute):

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Homeschool Tuesday - My Ideal Curriculum

In Texas, homeshools are considered "private schools" so you can name your "school" and have diplomas, etc., printed up. We have decided to name our school The Purple Door Schoolhouse.

So, my ideal curriculum for Purple Door Schoolhouse, Year 1 is (both boys will be doing it, with X receiving a little extra help in reading):

Spelling - Spelling Workout
Grammar - First Language Lessons
Reading - Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading
Writing - Writing with Ease
Handwriting - Handwriting Without Tears (I am having trouble deciding between this and either Getty-Dubay and Zaner-Bloser, so any reviews/critiques would help)
Vocabulary - Wordly Wise 3000 2nd edition
Editing - G.U.M. Drops


For our component of assigned read alouds, I will make my own curriculum based on suggestions from a Well Trained Mind and which correlate with our history, geography and science assignments.

For our component on "free" reading, I am going to go through alot of great book lists like Veritas Press, Classical Christian Education, Kidsreads, Brightly Beaming Resources, and Ambleside (to name a few), but will probably concentrate on the books from Homeschool Share and Five in a Row (not the whole unit studies, just the literature component).

We will spend 18 weeks doing fables and fairy tales, and 18 weeks doing poetry and plays.

History - History Odyssey


Cultural Geography - I will combine Galloping the Globe (which seems to have a very Christian component) with Geography Units from Evan-Moor for a complete study.

Physical Geography - Beginning Geography Series

Science -R.E.A.L. Science Odyssey - I may also look into NOEO science because R.E.A.L. doesn't have a physics section yet, so I will probably have to use NOEO if R.E.A.L doesn't come out with one before 4th grade.

Math - Singapore Math with supplements for extra practice. I am also considering getting the Mathtacular videos because all the kids seem to respond really well to learning concepts from DVD.

Art and Music

Art and Music Appreciation - Harmony Fine Arts at Home
Practical Art - Art Adventures at Home. I also ran into a woman (she was the wife of the farmer I bought veggies from last Friday) who also has an art business that runs classes for homeschool kids, so I might check it out.
Practical Music - not sure how this is going to go. I am considering this program, but may end up doing private lessons at some time.

Foreign Languages (we will be working through this slowly)

Latin - Minimus
Spanish - The Learnables for Spanish

Critical Thinking - Critical Thinking texts from Critical Thinking Company

Personal Growth and Development - I am creating my own curriculum, and this year will concentrate on manners, values and character.

Ah, the pox!!!

Last night my friend let us know that her daughter had chicken pox. This really isn't a big deal (so don't feel bad about it, Owl) but I have a weird thing where I have no immunity to chicken pox. I have had them at least 3 times, and probably more. The last time was in October of 2002. I was really itchy and spotty and when I called the Student Health Center, they had me come to the front door, rushed me past everyone and quarantined me in a room where the air was recycled. They wanted to keep me away from the general population in case anyone there was immuno-compromised or immuno-suppressed. When they finally realized that I did have chicken pox, they sent me home with some anti-itch stuff and some other meds and told me not to leave my house for 2 weeks so that I wouldn't come in contact with anyone who was pregnant or had immune issues. Wow, you get treated like a pyriah when you are an adult who gets a childhood illness. P-Daddy wasn't sure whether he had it as a child (and his sis couldn't remember either, but thought he had) but he was brave and stayed in the house with me.

Fast forward to this mornign and X woke up with a really high fever and all the others have low-grade fevers. I am hoping they are all just feeling ill (as am I) and that I don't end up with poxy kids because I am fairly sure the isolation would drive them insane.

Also, I have decided to make everyday a theme day so I can come up with something to write. Sometimes I have so much to say that I just get all flumoxed deciding what and when to do it, so hopefully themes will keep me in line. Not that I won't post about other things also. And I need to come up with cute little pictures for all of these

So here are my themes:

Boring Posts for Saturdays
Listlist Sundays (that is a play on the word listless, because I am hoping to have lazy Sundays)
Menu Mondays (discussion about food and menu we will be eating this week)
Homeschool Tuesdays (two of the local homeschool groups have their park days on Tues.)
Wacky Wednesdays (my crazy thoughts all in one day)
Week in Review Thursdays
7 Quick Takes for Friday

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Boring Posts for Saturday - Part 2

Well, I actually had a really nice, exciting Saturday. We hosted a "Welcome, Babies" celebration for all the babies who have been born (or are about to be born) at P-Daddy's work. 3 out of 4 have names that start with "L" so we have begun referring to them as the L-Pack. It was really nice being able to put faces to names.

I was, however, very sore because I had been up until 1am cleaning the carpets and couches. The kids ran like squirrel monkeys on crack and then crashed.

Good day all around!!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Crisis of No Faith

So, I have been wondering how to put into words what I have been feeling lately. I think I am having a crisis of no faith. For those of you who weren't raised with me, or by someone who was also raised with me, a little background. Both my parents were raised Catholic; my dad was even an altar boy. However, neither of them was religious growing up, and my dad, as a teenager, became an atheist. My brother and I were raised as such with a deep distrust of any institutionalized religion, but we were encouraged to investigate and learn about all faiths so we could, eventually, make up our own minds (with my dad knowing full-well what our decisions would be.) Well, lately I have been regretting not having any kind of faith. I wish I could believe that some of the things that happen to me, to friends, and family all had a greater purpose. I wish I didn't believe that the randomness of life was just that - random. I wish I could believe that I was "meant" to meet P-Daddy and we were meant to have all these kids (and that it wasn't just 4 catastrophic failures of birth control because, damn, who has that much bad luck with birth control?){not that I consider having my children bad luck...see what I mean...I wish I could believe that I was "meant" to have them}.

My greatest wish is that I had some kind of belief in a heaven, nirvana, paradise, what-have-you. The only thing I truly am terrified of is death. Logically I know I will die one day. It has always scared me; sometimes it scares me so much that I think it will scare me to death - imagine the irony in that. Well, it never truly hit me how devastating my view of death and what happens after has been to me. When I was little, I asked what death was, and what happens after. I was told that everything just ends. You don't see or hear or breath or taste. You get to chose between being baked in an oven until you are rendered into dust, or being put in a box in the ground to slowly degenerate and get eaten by bugs in a strange circle of life. The moment S was born was when I truly realized how horribly that knowledge has affected me. The thought of any of them either being cremated or buried has the power to render me immobile. The knowledge that they will die some day is almost more than I can take. I have had a recurring nightmare about having to make the decision that leads to the end of one of my children's life (I will not say which one) and the dream still has the power to wake me up sobbing in the night. I wish I had some hope of being with them forever. I want to see my pets again. I want to hug my grandfathers again. I don't want to spend eternity alone (not that I will care once it happens).

And then I obsess over sad blogs like this I wish I had the strength of conviction this woman has. Although I do dispute the idea that all pro-choice, non-religious people vilify her and people like her. Not that I could ever hope she would read my blog or even know that I exist, but if I could I would tell her this: I am staunchly pro-choice and a non-believer. However, I would have made the same choice as she did...I too would have brought my child into the world so that I could spend a few seconds, minutes, hours, days or months with them, and so that I would be comforted by the knowledge that they died in my arms or the arms of my husband.

Wow, this has been morose and rambling, so I apologize for that.

Another casualty of the move

My claim for damages : $7141.46
Actual amount we will get (i.e. the bare minimum the moving comapny is legally obligated to pay us): $834.60

...and they refuse to pay for our broken television because we can't prove it was working before we moved it (um, wtf? who moves a broken television), nor will they pay for the very large dog pen they somehow misplaced because it somehow didn't get listed on the re-written inventory list, and I didn't notice, eventhough the movers made jokes about how heavy it was when they loaded it. And, where the hell is the damn thing anyways? On the side of the highway with some of our other missing stuff, no doubt!!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Boring Posts for Saturday

BaaBaa, I am such a sheep. No, seriously, I hear about something fun, check it out, and have to join. So in that vein, I am going to join the Boring Posts for Saturday game that I heard about from my friend Dawn (but the idea originated with Mary, here).

So, you may notice that it is, in fact, Sunday, not Saturday. Well, turns out my boring Saturday turned out to be a really cool, fun Saturday so I didn't get a chance to post until now.

The day started out quietly. Sat around, watched some television, spent a large portion of my morning plotting out, diagramming, listing, my homeschool schedule for next year. Talked to G-Ma for a bit. P-Daddy and the kids (minus L) went to the park. I got invited to a pool party/Pampered Chef party, so I shaved my legs (sorry, TMI), shoved my post-partum belly into a bathing suit, extracted P-Daddy and the kids from the park (it was too hot for them to walk back) and headed out for an evening of kitchen gadgets, food, wine and swimming. L loved (!!!!!) the pool and actually fell asleep in it. Came home, ate leftover Tacos that P-Daddy and the kids had eaten earlier, P-Daddy and the kids went upstairs to bed at 8pm (where P-Daddy fell asleep) so I watched a little more television and went to bed.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Stupid Heat!!

I don't do heat and humidity well (yes, I know I voluntarily moved to Texas and should keep my whiney mouth shut). Kansas was hard, but so far Texas has been hotter but less humid. I blow up like a blowfish in the humidity and heat (soooooo not attractive!!!).

Well, we were doing well not using the a/c but it has gotten too hot for the dogs and L. So, we turn it on, and the a/c leaks into the vent in our downstairs bathroom making the floor wet and slippery and the ceiling wet (please, oh please, do not let it collapse on my head when I am peeing). I have been keeping the a/c off as much as possible and opening the windows at night but just as a warning to those of you who may actually see me or talk to me on the phone.....I am hot, sweaty, puffy and pissed.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Weekend in Review

Saturday we had a lovely time at the zoo (read: no one got lost). We wandered around for a bit, then we were joined by a friend and her daughter for picnic lunch and some playtime at the "beach". The zoo installed a little beach/sand area and a little "river" which is deep enough for the kids to frolic in, but not deep enough to make me terrified they are going to drown.

We spent a lazy Sunday hanging around.

This weekend we also watched alot of movies - Zack and Miri Make a Porno (hilarious), Taken (really good), Bolt (like a million times and still going), and Twilight (damn you young adult fiction - first Harry Potter, now Twilight has sucked me in - off to the Library to borrow the whole series).

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Post-Partum things that SUCK!!!

I love being pregnant, I love having babies - even birth is okay, but there are several things about the post-partum period that SUCK:

1) hair loss - I have very thick, waist-length hair, so when it starts falling out after all the lovely preggo hormones leave I loose alot of hair. I swear it looks like I am sacrificing little auburn guinea pigs in my trash can.

2) sleep deprivation I can handle with aplomb, but this stinking insomnia is a different story.

3) weight gain - yes, I am one of those rare weird people who loose weight when pregnant and put tons on when I nurse.

4) deciding when to blame said weight gain on the baby and own up to the fact that maybe I am just a little more chubby than usual lately.

That's all for now.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Sea World and the fright of my life

Today we decided to venture to Sea World to play in the kiddy water park and see the Dolphin/Beluga Whale/Acrobat show. It was freakin' crowded...not unexpected as it is Memorial Day weekend, but we went early so expected it to be only moderately crowded - Wrong!

We first headed the the water area as the dolphin petting section was beyond crowded. P-Daddy and the kids entered the play area while L and I stayed outside (she was sleeping). They were having a ton of fun until I noticed C was wandering around by herself and looked confused so I motioned to P-Daddy who was simultaneously motioning to me. I thought he had lost sight of C so I pointed her out to him. Then he looked around, gathered up S and C and came over to me, when I casually asked him "where's X?" His response "with you?". OH SHIT...turns out he was motioning to me to tell me X was coming over to me because he needed to pee. When he turned back after motioning to me, X was gone and he assumed he had come to me. P-Daddy raced off to look for X in the water area with no luck. He came back to see if he was with me at which point I took off yelling his name which was bloody pointless...not a single person stopped to ask what was wrong, or indicate whether they had seen him or not. No one even paid attention to me. I made a circle around the play area and then the panic set in; awful images of the police coming to my door in a few days to tell me they had found his body. As I was about to race back to P-Daddy and the kids to grab a phone and call 911 through an opening in the crowd I spotted a pale-as-can-be shirtless blond kid wandering around looking terrified. I raced to him and swept him up in my arms and went racing to P-Daddy who was so nervous that I don't think he noticed X in my arms because he kept saying "I don't see him, I don't see him" until I actually had to point him out in my arms. Turns out he needed to go to the bathroom. Needless to say he got an extremely stern talking too fueled by utter horror on our part.

We then sat down for a snack (stress eating) and went to the Viva! show which was really cool and involved dolphins, beluga whales and high diving acrobats. Then we headed over to the sharks for a quick peek, then back to the car and out for pizza (I will not rant about the false advertising about coupons and kids eat for free at a certain establishment near my house other than to say we will never frequent this establishment again).

Home for the most glorious activity of all - a 2hr nap with R-dog and R-cat while P-Daddy made noodles and sauce with veggie meatballs. Yummy!

Hopefully I can sleep without nightmares tonight.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Playroom

We brought some things back from Kansas which we didn't originally have room for in the move. One of the things the kids were really excited about were the play tents that G-Ma and Auntie-M had each purchased for them. Yesterday, I tried to set them up in the big open room (which is supposed to be a dining room living room combo thingy, but with no furniture it is now just a wide open space). Well the poles were all bent, so I was only able to set up one teepee and one firestation along with two tunnels, much to the kids', cats' and dogs' excitement.

My other project this weekend is consolidating the boys into one room and turning S's room into a playroom. Back in KS, the boys shared a room and we had C's things in another room which we also used as a playroom. When we moved to TX, the boys wanted their own rooms with their own decor and themes and opted out of having a playroom. Fast forward almost six months and the boys are begging to be back in one room and to have a playroom - this suits my purpose because having toys scattered around the house is driving me insane. The boys also independently decided that half the room would be decorated in cowboys and the other in dinos so they both could be happy. This also works because eventually C and L will have to share a room and the boys can model cooperation for the girls. Now I just have to decide whether I am going to capitulate on the request for bunkbeds. It doesn't really matter because everyone ends up in bed with us every night anyway, so it would be more for P-Daddy's or my comfort as we usually end up in one of the kid's beds when it just gets too crowded in ours (or R-Dog stealthily tries to sneak a spot on the bed).

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Our Vacation - the Pictorial Version

A view of our vacation. For details see P-Daddy's post as linked in the message below.

R-dog took umbrage to being relegated to the back with Lady Barfsalot (aka B-dog), so he crawled forward and snuggled up to C. I took this shot while barreling down I-35 at 80 mph so excuse the crappy composition.

P-Daddy checking out the damage to the XL-7

Russel to the Rescue!!

The kids hanging out in the gas/service station in Waco.

C, L, R-dog, B-dog and I had to sleep in our seats because the van was packed full. P-Daddy and the boys were able to lay the front seats backs and huddle up together. I am not sure how S and X ended up as a human pretzel, but hey, at least they slept for a few hours.

W-dog was so excited to see us and B-dog....still wants to kill R-dog so we had to keep them separated.

KY's baby shower

The kids hanging out at G-Ma's

Dr. C, P-Daddy, BZ and SZ (MZ's parents) at lunch

AZ and MZ at lunch

P-Daddy outside the Lied Center on the way to the hooding

We got to the hooding 15mins after the doors opened and the main seating was already full, so we had to sit in the balcony. I had the camera on full zoom, so please excuse the quality. P-Daddy being hooded my Dr. C

P-Daddy and MZ outside of Lippincott Hall waiting to Walk Down the Hill

L chilling on G-Ma's bed, which we had just moved into the master bedroom for her. She turned 3 months old on the day this picture was taken.

Not really what I had in mind when I brought the cage back with us from Kansas, but at least O isn't showing his displeasure at being left behind like R-cat is....cats can be very vindictive sometimes.

Back from "vacation"

I promise I will write more and post pictures later, but S is running a fever and L is uber fussy. If you want to read P-Daddy's take on the whole thing, check out his post.

Let the vacation recovery continue.....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

I was raised to view Mother's Day (and Father's Day and Valentine's Day) as fake, Hallmark holidays and we never did anything for them, and barely even acknowledged their existence.

Well, now that I have kids, I see that the Day is actually more for them (at their age) so we have a little ritual: P-Daddy and the kiddos make me breakfast and serve it to me in bed. At this point in time it is just cereal with yogurt and coffee. I am fully expecting pancakes or waffles swimming in syrup, fresh squeezed citrus juice and gourmet lattes by time the kids are older.

C took the whole "serving Mommy thing a little too literally and started spoon feeding me my treat. The we all loaded up and went to the grocery store, and the library. I picked up the 2004 version of A Well-Trained Mind so I can make sure I have all my bases covered while planning the kids' homeschool curriculum...I have previously read the 1999 edition and the 2009 edition has not hit my local library yet (I might just end up buying it). I also got a book called The Expected. I think it will be similar to The Da Vinci Code, but dealing much more in depth with Mary Magdalene. Well, at least the review I read in the Chinaberry catalog sounded good. I also have The Commoner (another Chinaberry recommendation but not on their site anymore) waiting to be read.

Then home for some rest, dinner and a phone call with MFF back in Lawrence planning a post doctoral hooding party for P-Daddy, MZ and her this Saturday. Now it is off to bed to watch Chronicles of Riddick with P-Daddy.....who posted the most beautiful Mother's Day post on his blog. I caught a real winner when I snagged him.

Saturday Fun Day

Today we attended the going away party for a fellow AP family - they are moving to Kansas City as chance would have it. Everyone had a great time playing in the pool and in the coolest Star Wars bedroom ever (as I am assured by P-Daddy and the boys). It was nice to catch up with some of our new friends. I do have pictures but I want to get permission from the host of the party before I put them up because they have other children in them, so stay tuned.

P-Daddy and I were going to watch a movie, but everyone was so riled up that it took forever to get them to sleep and we just crashed after.

Okay, here are a few pics we took (I didn't realize P-Daddy had taken these when I first posted).

The Famed Star Wars room and S's reaction to it. By the blurriness you can tell P-Daddy was quivering with excitement too.

C enjoying the sandbox

....and the tire swing

X in the pool

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Shazam it's hot!!

Okay, so I am not supposed to swear, hence the Shazam, but serious it is the beginning of May and it has already hit 102 degrees. What the heehaw have we gotten ourselves into? I'm Canadian of European decent, for Crisco's sake...I am not, I repeat not, meant to be in this heat. I am pale, have auburn hair and freckles, I hate the sun...not a good combo for living in Texas.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Garden update

Well, the dizziness subsided enough for me to transplant some aloe plants we had been given. The kids and dogs helped me out, and even offered up one of their Lego boxes when I ran out of containers - of course, they then took ownership of the little aloe plants in it.

This is the whole group, along with S's stick garden

We have (as the kids have christened them) 1 "Adult", 2 "Teenagers", 4 "Kids" and 1 "Baby" who is inside in water being watched over by S.

Here is a close-up of the Teens

Close-up of the Adult with X adding visual perspective

This is what the garden looks like now

Our hugelkulture pile with cantaloupes growing out of it. I am going to throw some acron squash seeds into it and see what happens....adventures in gardening.

Blossom enjoying the sun

Ranger guarding the garden

Gardening is Fun!!!